Today my daughter is six months old! I can’t believe she has been alive for a half a year! People always say that time flies. And the busier you are the more it feels that way. Well, I’ve certainly never been busier than I am now!
It is really amazing how much your baby changes in the first six months. As I look back on photos of her from the first days in the hospital, I feel like she was a totally different person. And so was I! I feel like that time was years ago, in the sense of how much my little family has changed.
In the first months, babies barely notice that you are there. They can’t focus their gaze. They are not awake very much. And when they are it’s all feeding-diapering-burping-repeat! You’re so tired and everything is just hazy! Now, when Kate sees me or my husband, her face lights up. She sees us. She knows who we are. She smiles and laughs and giggles. She has different facial expressions. She can grab at what she wants, roll, push up, sit up (briefly), scoot toward where she wants to go, loves eating soft foods and can even guide the bottle to her mouth. And, of course, there’s all that sweet babbling. Ba-bas. Da-das. Goo-goo-goos. She doesn’t realize that those sounds can mean something, yet. But I feel like every week she is a little bit different, knows a little bit more!
And my husband and I are different, too. It’s really hard to describe what it’s like to be a parent. But being a parent changes you to your core. At least, it should. I don’t think I was particularly selfish before. But I was definitely a slow-poke! Now, it seems like every day is very compact with things that need to be done. Lots of multi-tasking. And lots of times when I have to be super-efficient, whether I feel like it or not. Kate is not much of a daytime napper. So if she falls asleep, I prioritize the most important things to do first: eating, drinking and bathroom breaks and if I’m really lucky a shower. I never knew that those could come at such a premium!
But the changes aren’t stopping now. Kate is going to continue to change and grow. I can’t imagine what she’ll be like at one! And I will continue to have to reorganize and reprioritize as much as I can. I think the challenges for the next months will be me stepping back into my work as a writer and activist. Finding a way to juggle what must be juggled and not judge myself too harshly about the balls that hit the floor.
What an amazing six months it’s been! Looking forward to what is next!