Don’t be a menace on the internet while talking about periods

After all these years as a professional writer and blogger, people still find ways to surprise me. And make me laugh! Apparently, a gal named Minsy was quite put out by the Primer on Periods I posted for dads about a month ago.

Minsy

I am sick and tired of you all telling a girl that her dad can discuss her period. I did not want my dad to know I had on much less discuss it. All my friends feel the same way. You all give too much information about girlsโ€™ stuff, but you never talk about erections, wet dreams, semen, jock straps, and cups. You are so bold when it comes to saying private girl stuff. And yes it is private. What girl in her right mind wants to be that close to her dad. It is just plain disgusting. You all make me sick!!

Wow! Where do I start?

Well Minsy, first I want to say thank you for taking the time to read The Tired Feminist and to leave a comment. People are very busy and the online universe is full of pointless blogs. I’m glad you found your way to mine! And people hardly ever comment on my posts, so thanks!

I did think it was weird that your started your comment by saying that you are “sick and tired” of me talking about girls, fathers and periods. I think that was my first post about the issue. But hey, thanks for using the word “tired” in your comment. Nice call back to my blog’s name!

Minsy, I don’t normally respond so formally in a blog post to comments, but I feel like this deserves some discussion. Clearly, I struck a chord with you, and not in a way you like. But isn’t this response a giant, blinking, billboard pointing directly at the problems I was trying to address? The strict gender rules of our society make menstruation (and any other aspect of the female reproductive system… genitals, childbirth, nursing, menopause…) a landmine of a topic.

The goal should be to demystify the female reproductive system and its machinations, not cloak it further. What is the point of that? A generation of fathers who can’t help their daughters? A generation of girls who fear their fathers? Fear having these conversations? Fear the word “vagina”?

And what about the single dads? The gay fathers? Male teachers, counselors, clergymembers…? Should we be so quick to reinforce the patriarchal paradigm that it’s okay to make girls and their fathers casualties of the the gender politics war?

I don’t want to live in that world!

I want my daughter to celebrate her body! I want her to know the correct names for her body parts and feel comfortable and free to talk about them with me and her father. And when the time comes, I want her to feel comfortable in her own skin and respect herself, which is something that comes when you have no fear of your own body and its place in the world. And because she will respect herself, she will hold to a higher standard those she shares her body with as a young woman. And so on.

Really, Minsy. Why wouldn’t you want those things for yourself and others?

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2 comments

  1. Hello It’s me again. Just because someone disagrees with your point of view, doesn’t mean they are a menace. What a nasty statement. You must be used to having your way. Actually though, I am in my right mind. I am a spirtually, mentally, and physically healthy woman. I love all people. I was not abused or mistreated by any male. I don’t dislike males and am not a male basher. I dated prior to falling in love and getting married.

    What makes me unique is that I don’t have blinders on and can see the truth behind the relationship between females and males. Most people are not willing to face the fact that males have brainwashed females since time long ago. Males are stronger physically and are ruled by their testosterone and so try to dominate the female. Males can often be characterized by arrogance and a big ego. Women are often characterized by a loving, caring, nurturing natures. There are exceptions to every rule.

    But anyway, I need to express to you all again that it is not natural, nor is it right for a girl to talk about her period or breasts with her dad. It would not be right for a son to talk about his erections, ejaculation, or his wet dreams
    with his mom. All my female friends and some guys in our group completely agree and support my statements. It seems that we have become so modernized that we have forgotten about privacy and boundaries. Men do not need to be a part of everything in the world. Don’t keep writing these horrible statements that continue to confuse young females. I teach many young females and in our classes one of the discussions always comes down to needing space and privacy from their dads. Thes girls like to share girl stuff with sisters, girlfriends, moms, aunts, female coaches, etc.
    That is why these young women will grow up to date and marry their own males and not dad. They can discuss their periods with those males. Dad was designed for other purposes but not what you lovers of male control and patriarchial rule, think.
    I loved my dad, used to swing on his arms, thought he was the greatest, but felt a need to put boundaries between the girlie things and regular stuff.

    Why would you want to demystify the femine aspects of life when you men will not pose nude the way women do in every part of the media? Why don’t you spend your time and energy demystifying the male aspects of life. You all don’t show or share your bodies and our boys surely do not go to their mothers, female teachers, female
    counselors, etc, to tell about their male stuff. How ridiculous to tell females they need to tell any male about a modest, private part of the female areas. Be fair blog writer, and most of all be truthful.

    Love you all,
    Minsy

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